I can’t help disappointing you


Now I’m in Paris. will fly to somewhere else next week. Life as a gypsy is good for airplane company.
I’m actually tired.
What makes me tired the most is that I can’t help disappointing everyone, all the time.
What people want to know the most is, what they can do for Fukushima. but I must say, there’s nothing we can do. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
so try to make myself distracted, I’ve been posting a lot everyday. but no matter how much I post, I don’t have any answer that you want to know.
and when I’m interviewed, sometimes they expect me to be more like victim, pitiful and helpless.
but that’s a little hard for me, because since 311, I’m possessed by anger.
I want you to imagine, you are walking on the street, and someone lynches you all of a sudden. How can you be not angry for the person ? For me, it’s the government, and lynch is the nuclear explosion.
I think I’m already dead because I was too late to evacuate. How can I forgive the person who killed me ?

Anyway, I wrote the article of “Website is dead.” I meant it (the title) in a general meaning. (Not in the meaning that Fukushima-diary is dead.) This is a little irrelevant for Fukushima, but websites are all put in order by google for the stupid reasons like traffic, pagerank and everything from 90s. but it has nothing to do with the value of the information. Now all the information is forced to be in the order regardless of the quality of the website, it’s still like scale, majority vote, over simplification. I thought this trend will kill the creativity of writers on the internet. That’s why I said website is dead. (Anyway, I will keep blogging.)

At the end, this is my personal opinion but enenews and SKF picked up the news about the black substance, which was extremely radioactive. I think they took it from Oyama Koichi’s blog. but I’m a little suspicious about his blog.
Last time he posted some data of US army or something to say they measured plutonium and uranium in Tokyo. but the data was like 3000 Bq/kg of uranium in Shizuoka or something, maybe he made some mistake to calculate. You need to be careful to refer to his blog.
That’s it. Good night.



  1. Thank you Lori for keeping the blog going, I don’t blame you for being angry–the whole world should be angry also. Wishing you the best.

  2. Your work is so valuable. I don’t think you’re disappointing anyone, i have a huge respect and consideration for what you are doing.
    do you need anything in Paris?
    I am praying for you to be good, in perfect shape.
    Please see that some people care.
    You know at the moment Europe is shaken with what’s happening to Greece so the main attention is focused there. But at the same time more and more people get interest in going out of nuclear power, and your posts are very important to explain and help us staying informed.

    So i thank you very much for your Courage!

  3. You are making people happy by giving us the information that no one really can’t get Mochizuki san! Ya regarding the Fukushima, the situation is unfortunate and Japanese gov is not doing much and its not no one’s fault. But you on the other hand, doing such as wonderful thing!

  4. That sure is the truth. The damage is already done. But, we all know the damage will only get worse. Not meaning another explosion at Fukushima, although that may still occurr, but as time goes forward the health effects of Fukushima fallout will come to light. We will also begin to see more of the environmental effects.

    This is what is so mind-boggling, frustrating and surreal. Fukushima is branded in our minds during our day-to-day activities. We all died a little bit that day. It took a piece of our hope away. It is unforgivable.

  5. Constantly working on the road is hard to do especially if your home is in a state of upheaval. However, keep up the information flow if you can. Yours is an important voice for what is happening in Japan.

  6. You are correct, there is nothing anyone can do for Fukushima. That is the past. However, there is much to do for the living. Information is important, for how can anyone make informed decisions without good information? You have done much to inform, and you will probably never know how many people you have helped. But the good deeds remain. I thank you for the warning about the inaccurate website.

    Re: the radiation. I have worked with radiation for many years… Ingested radioactive particles through the air or through food or drink are far far worse than external radiation exposure. I am sure you were careful in Japan. You have done all you can do, and the rest is up to chance. Your body is able to repair some radiation damage, too.

    The anger is real, but now not productive. The bad water has passed under the bridge. What matters is what you can do, and anger is an acid that can eat your soul. I wish you the best of luck, for I think you deserve it.

    “People should really concentrate on what they can do in very immediate, practical terms with their time, with their hands, with the things around them, as opposed to waiting for somebody to come up with a solution or a transition plan…it all comes down to what you can do with your time and your hands and your head.” Dmitry Orlov

  7. Just be yourself and do your website like you want, and if people don’t like it that’s their problem.

    I appreciate what you are doing. It’s a valuable service to people around the world. I hope donations are providing you enough income to do it.

    The fact Google announced its big changes the day after proposed Congressional legislation for the US federal government big changes was voted down, makes the two seem like twins.

  8. My people have been divided and some of them have been bombarded with depleted uranium, which will poison the earth for thousands of years.

    I am always angry about this, but it is not even a personal anger. It’s an anger because children should not be growing up in such a f*cked-up world. I am sad too, but my prevalent feeling is this good anger. It gives me energy to continue and to remember.

    Here is a quote a like a lot about anger:

    “There is good anger, too, and you have that. It is the anger from seeing clearly. It’s the same anger I have. It’s the anger the Old Ones warned me about. You must learn to control that anger, then it can be of use. But there is bad anger, too. It is the anger of people who only want their own way. That anger is selfish […] You write what you see and you write what you hear. You are a keeper of the fire. […] Keepers of the fire cannot be cowards. They are carrying light.”

    Dan, a Lakota man, speaking about the tragic fate of his people after a physical and cultural genocide in “Neither Wolf nor Dog” by Kent Nerburn

  9. there is 1 possible action that would matter. Building a large building over all the reactors-that totally enclose them, I keep saying 1 building over reactors 1-4 & another over 5&6. This would cut off the hot particles from blowing around the world, at least I would hope. Please consider saying this on your own if you think it may help. Ignore my email, I dont want trolls that read the comments section to bother me 🙂

  10. Iori

    I hear your anguish and your cries of despair and they are completely justified. The situation in Fukushima is an existential doomsday that carries no comparison. You (and the rest of us) are sitting on the edge of a singularity. Nothing in the past or the present or the future can help you through the dark night of the human soul. You must not self-destruct via the medium of resentiment ( a French word best articulated by Nietzsche), which can turn inward and eat you from the inside out. Turn your rage against humanity’s real enemies – not just TEPCO, not just the IAEA, nor all of the agencies and institutions that support all things nuclear. We all know by now that anthropogenic nuclear reactions are incompatible with biological beings. Iori -you are a warrior in the best tradition of the Samurai and the code of the Bushido – you have a task and a duty to perform to save the children of the planet earth.

  11. Iori, you are right, we can do nothing about the unfolding tragedy because entities like TEPCO and General Electric run the politicians and they all are committing a crime against humanity. But we can (as you are doing) disseminate information and expose people to the truth and the outrage that should be felt by everybody. Stopping the burning of the debris would be one example of an important thing that could be accomplished by continuing the education of people in these matters.

  12. I like reading your articles on here and on enenews site here too. They don`t disappoint me at all keep them coming. Information can help your people there in Japan and eles where in the world. You just can`t see it yet. Keep looking up

  13. lori Mochizuki,

    You touched the heart of someone thousands and thousands of miles away.

    I respect your decision, but I hope you stay and blog.

    Maybe you need a break, is there someone else that can blog for you for a week or two? Let you take a much needed break?


  14. I kind of feel the same way about not knowing where I’m going to live, except I have a kid. My family is split between the U.S. and western Japan. So you should at least feel lucky to not be tied down. I’m thinking about going back to western Japan with the most high tech detection device I can afford. Like you, I don’t know if I already exposed myself and my kid leaving Japan after the reactor 3 explosion. My spouse doesn’t want to leave Japan. When I talk to people in western Japan, everything seems normal, but I’m not sure how bad it actually is there. The only way to know for sure would be to test it myself. The small pieces of information I get from your blog are helpful, but it’s still hard to see the big picture.

    1. Hi Anon,
      I think you did the right choice. My spouse is still in Western Japan too, in Kyoto precisely. We also have a kid. It is a hard situation especially for the kid not having both parents.
      I think Western Japan cannot be safe in future, and people’s attitude is what makes it less safe than it could have ever been. I mean, school lunches, supermarket food…we already know they may be contaminated (remember the highly-contaminated beef sold in August at supermarkets?). Moreover, even when it is food which passed the check…they raised the limits, poison is legally sold out and we will never know how much of it we consume. No way to bring up a child there under these conditions. Cannot even try to ask and make informed choices, don’t know where the meat is from, and what about the processed food with all those ingredients with unknown origin? Then, burnt debris, radioactive concrete…the potential dangers seems more and more in the future Japan, because they decided to share contamination and share the pain, not the information. It is insane, it is unfair towards innocent children.
      I cannot stop thinking of children still in Japan and of our relatives with kids there. I really hope you manage to re-unite your family somewhere else.

  15. You are a hero to the world – all of humankind, Mochi – You can never disappoint us after all you have given – it just is not possible…
    Sometimes it is hard to acknowledge that as a mere human, you have completed deeds of a heroic nature, and yet when you look in the mirror, it is the same human (mostly) that you have seen all along… Especially in a situation where you realize that you face the same Sisyphean task of rolling that damn boulder back up the hill – day after day after day… Be kind to yourself, sir, as you certainly deserve it – and if on occasion you find you can not, there are *many* of us out here that will gladly envelope you in kindness until you can do for yourself once again… You owe us all nothing – nothing at all… You did not *have* to write a single word, you did not *have* to continue in the face of oppression/retribution – the only thing you *had* to do was to rescue your own hide – and you went above and beyond that, Mochi – even at risk to yourself… You can not and *will* not disappoint – it’s far too late for that!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

  16. Mochizuki –

    It Is Never Too Late Until You Belive That It Is The Only Truth –

    Do Not Convince Yourself That Which Is Not True But Will Make You Vanish.

    I wish You Had Time – To Speak On My Radio Show.

    We Must Never Stop Fighting – And You Are Not Dead – It Is Never Too Late.

    You Must Do The Proper Things But Once You Do The Radiation Will Not Be Damaging You.

  17. Dear Lori,

    I don’t know if anyone has mentioned this but it occurred to me that you may be going through a type of grieving process for your country, Japan. Any refugee must have some of the same feelings after having their life turned upside down but you have the additional psychological burden of this unique and terrible ongoing disaster. On top of that the government’s continued mishandling of every aspect of this situation is maddening. The internet has many websites that talk about the grieving process sometimes recognizing what stage or overlapping of stages you may be in can help. Please look “grieving process” up on the internet and see if it helps. Here is one, first one on Google’s list, as you noted this may not be the best site, it is only the most popular but it does give a brief outline of the stages of grief. http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html

    Finding meaningful work is helpful. I hope you see Fukushima Diary as meaningful work because I think the work you do is very meaningful to the world.

    From enoughalready45

  18. dont give up Mochizuki
    you are being heard and need to carry on that message.
    if you give up the website you will have given up everything you fought for.
    now tell me Mochizuki is the website dead or is Mochizuki dead?

  19. What measurements are concerned, it’s extremely difficult to determine the degree of dangerousity by radiation as you have to take into account internal and external data. Publishing too much data on radiation may be misleading the public, though it’s important to know. Not easy to select the information useful to the public. And as you say yourself, be careful about data.

  20. “What people want to know the most is, what they can do for Fukushima. but I must say, there’s nothing we can do. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

    Oh no please, not that defeatist Japanese “shoganai” attitude !

    There’s something that can be done and you already did a lot with your blog.

    If you know what is happening you can spread the news around you so people can take action and protect themselves and tell others how to do so.

    Don’t live in contaminated area, check the food you eat, take vitamins and supplements to chelate the nucleids away, boycott those who are poisonning your country an expose over and over again the criminal actions of TEPCO and the J-govt.

    These are all ways to do something !

    Knowledge is the key !

  21. Maybe you could spend half of your time trying to see if the offer of Russian president Medvedev (back in March 2011) to welcome all the people of Japan in his country still stands, and trying to organize the evacuation to Russia of Japanese people who are already convinced they must go live in another country.
    Though it is possible that the Japanese and American powers-that-be ordered Medvedev to remove that generous offer last year, seeing it as a threat to Japanese capitalism and American capitalism in the short term.

    [not to publish]
    If you want to meet your French supporters in Paris before leaving, you can contact me !
    [/not to publish]

  22. Lori Mochisuki, You are a very valuable, wonderful human being. Thank you for all your hard work in getting the message out to us. There are many intelligent,aware people who comment on here who are much more able to articulate their thoughts in meaningful ways. I have learned so much and look forward to reading on this site daily. It is very valuable in disseminating the critical information about Fukushima & the impacts on Japan & the rest of the planet. I am praying for you Lori that you will find strength and comfort in knowing that there are many who support you & that you are loved. I pray for healing and protection of you on every level,physical,mental,emotional,spiritual & on the practical plane of finding a place to settle down that is right. May you have new knowledge,insight and clarity to guide you on next path. We are all One. Have courage. Much love to you.xoxoxoxoxo

  23. Mochizuki, you never disappoint! Don’t be hard on yourself, try to stay positive. You should feel proud of what you have and continue to achieve! You have many loyal friends who follow and admire you and your work.

  24. Mochizuki,

    I have been awe-inspired by your bravery for many months now. I support you in whatever you need to do, and please do rest. You know the immune systems of Chernobyl children are strengthened considerably by living for a while in a cleaner environment, so if you can find somewhere quiet, with cleaner water, food, air, then you will probably feel much better in about a month. Meanwhile, also drink completely de-mineralized water, for it will genly carry the heavier radionuclides out of your system. You are one of the greatest warriors I have ever seen, and I am deeply inspired by your ongoing courageous voice. It is essential, but I want it to also be sustainable. Please rest a month sweet human, and we will all be here to cheer you on when you get back. All of us have all of our lives now in which we decide how much of this knowledge we dedicate ourselves to spreading. For me I am contemplating a change of direction, so that somehow I could do Fukushima education work full-time, or at least more of the time. The time has come for all of us to respond with our whole minds and bodies and hearts, and we each much find our path towards that. It is the silence we must not be complicit in if we as humans are to have any ‘honor’ left at all. Mochizuki has been teaching all of us that. Solutions we may be short of, but voices we have plenty of.

  25. Do what you can. As long as you know you are doing what you can and you can live with it….live your life. In the end, it’s just you, God and your legacy….I guess. WOW. The legacy thing just came into my head for you. Its all your decision and no one should judge you on it. Anybody want to help him do this? I dont. Nothing personal, but lifes too short, and halflives are too long, and in my experience, youve got to take care of yourself, cause no one else will. <3

  26. Keep up the intesnely good and historical work, for your words will be read in someones history books, someday…..and thats more than Im leaving behind. Be brave, take care of yourself, and carry on. People are listening, reposting and talking about YOU around the world. I just hate to see you …. what do they say….pissing in the wind. You have your life to live as well. Quite a decision. Good luck with it. <3

  27. Hey dude, You like flying, Come to Florida for a vacation, You can still do your post from here if you want to do a few, I have a number of other putters here ! Enjoy some warm weather and flowers and sea, much to do see too ! email me, no problem, no rent fee, stay a few weeks and relax, that is what you must do, re-energize !
    email me @ Yahoo.com

    1. Salute..

      I wish that millions were able to make the same offer to all those living in Northern Japan.

      That would be such a wonderful “gift” to mankind!

      1. Capt.D,
        I have made that offer and signed up to receive a family also, no takers, seems so many as so many here with no passport and funds to leave and our gov. is not excepting Japanese running from radiation because their gov. says there is no problem with radiation ! ! OH FUKA !

  28. Hang in there, Mr. M. Obviously, your blog and collection of key observations
    and current data on the catastrophe is extremely important to many readers
    around the world. We’re not dissapointed, we’re IMPRESSED!!!

    Make sure that you get plenty of sleep, take detox supplements & anti-oxidants,
    (trust me, they really work!!!) and keep on eating & drinking carefully… I think you
    look healthier with better color and less strrain than you did right after your
    evacuation from downwind Eastern Japan… That is such a good sign!! 🙂
    But, relocation is stressful and you are making huge adjustments, so go easy
    on yourself.

    You also may need to consult a higher power!… It is impossible not to become
    disillusioned during this crisis–at the media, the reactors, the govts. involved…
    I find that God is my centering point, as I am so easily dissapointed by what is
    happening as both a passionate environmentalist and advocate for children.

    The crisis at Fukushima is just so much bigger than all of us could ever be. It is
    hard to contemplate. I think that’s where blind Faith is critical. This situation may
    be way over our heads!… But, we still care! So, thanks for the info!

  29. I will follow your lead and read whatever you post anywhere. I like your vision—it’s clearcut and rings true. The nuclear power industry will do anything to save itself and promote itself. However, in Ibaraki Prefecture, two good friends, both still middle-aged, were recently diagnosed with breast cancer and a brain tumor. I think it’s due to Fukushima. They couldn’t leave last March. Who will tell the truth? Who will gather the data that the government prays won’t be collected? Who will inform the world??? Good luck to you, Mochizuki Iori!! I wish you the best in all your endeavors. Life is really tough now in Japan and out of Japan, as economies collapse and prices of necessities go up and up. We all need each others’ prayers now.

  30. Oh no, Mochizuki !
    We all need you, and even if you don’t have the answer and will never have it, YOU are the answer.
    Because of you, I’m able, far and far away from japan (not so far, india), to read you thru http://www.gen4.fr and keep informed.
    This is very important, and myself I can also post on some blogs to continue your work. And the future is to inform, inform inform always. Only like this the future has some chance to be different.

    THANKS A LOT for what you have done, and what you will continue to do ?

    Zolive, french, in India

  31. *Chernobyl still affecting millions

    The US National Academy of Sciences states that most cancers resulting from radiation exposure do not develop in some cases for up to 50 years after exposure. The State-appointed Belarusian Chernobyl Committee predicts 15,000 new thyroid cases in the region in the next five decades. There has been a 2,400 per cent increase in rates of thyroid cancer in Belarus alone, according to the World Health Organisation.


  32. Hi Mochizuki san,

    If you want to rest a little bit, lost in the mountains, you can contact me by mail. You can stay home for a while.

    French mountains and silence might help to recharge your batteries.

    We need the information on your blog … Please keep going.

    All the best.


  33. S’il vous plait Mochizuki, poursuivez votre journal, c’est un des seuls moyens d’information sûr à propos de votre pays, traduisant des parutions japonaises. Je suis de tout coeur avec vous, vous n’êtes pas seul, vous êtes suivi dans le monde entier.
    Vous êtes une fenêtre ouverte sur la Japon. Votre travail d’information est essentiel, là où toute information est sujette à caution. vous êtes un précieux soutien pour votre peuple.
    Pardonnez-moi de vous écrire en français.

  34. Mochizuki, I don’t post on blogs nor do I contribute as there are so many worthy causes and funds are limited. You are the now the exception to both as I recently sent you a donation and now feel I must respond to your post that you are disappointing us. There is no truth in that thought. No one expects you to solve the problems of Fukushima, but what you have done is provide one of the very few sources of truth about the radiation that is devastating to your country and to the world. The burden you carry is beyond the imagination of most of us. You have faced the truth and have the courage to share it against the opposition of very powerful forces. You have lost your homeland and so many of your countrymen are in denial of the information you share. For all of us who read Fukushima Diary you are an inspiration and a shining light. Do not believe the fault lies within you as this is exactly what these forces would like us to believe. I feel privileged to join the many voices here encouraging you to continue your work and to care for yourself both physically and spiritually knowing that you are a powerful force for good on the planet. Whatever the eventual outcome of this horrible crime against humanity you have not failed, and will never disappoint those who seek truth. I hope that you will continue the website, but will try to find you wherever you post though I have decided not to join Facebook as it serves many other interests. It may be time for you to reach out to others for help in maintaining your site and getting personal support on a daily basis. We all need to find that support to survive these perilous times.

  35. Thanks for all you’ve done, and all theses informations that we can’t learn anywhere else ! It’s very important for us, all over the world.
    i have a huge respect and consideration for what you are doing, also !
    We are a family in Brittany-France : if you want to stay a few weeks to rest, and regain courage, you can sent me a message.
    good luck

  36. i am listening to you and share your informations as most as can.may be you need a bit of a break also.your fight as made a lot of echos; we are going to build a stand of information either in st nazaire or nantes in france; and we will use few of your texts and videos.choose what is the best for you.

  37. Good morning iori, How many month may you stay in France?
    Perhaps we could help you and you too about nuclear power in france .
    Yoou have my adress mail.
    Thanks for your response

  38. Thank you so much for your blog.
    If you like gardening, welcome to the “Jardin d’art et d’essais” to prepare the Norman Hanami!
    09 54 59 44 33 (evening)
    You dont need fly any more because the earth is the spaceship for the gardeners…

  39. Mochizuki Lori,
    I agree with enoughalready45, you have been made to leave every thing you love . It was not really a decision , it was self preservation, the human will to live is very strong and you could not stay. You could not make the ones you love understand, the way you have made us strangers understand . I think it is this frustration and sorrow that makes you sad and tired and angry. That and not yet knowing where in the world you will make your new home. Time will help, love surrounds you but cannot change your and our reality, our innocence has died. Our governments don’t care for us, our families don’t want to know the truth,and we feel powerless as the world slips closer to the brink of horror. Every day starts anew to be lived in the best way possible, that is all anyone can do!

  40. Mr. Mochizuki, you are one of the most important voices of our time.


    You are not heard enough but you certainly should keep telling the truth. You might not be able to help Fukushima as much as you wanted but your work is a donation to saving rest of the world. We need to keep clean what we can so the Japanese who want to evacuate still have somewhere to go if they ever are given a chance to do so.

    Perhaps this will make you feel like your work has some effect: If you had not fled from Japan, I might still be going back there for a year. And I probably am not the only one. I was aware of the danger but since I wasn’t born in Japan so it was hard to get there in the first place. I just couldn’t make the last decision. When you left I thought I must get myself together and just let go.

    I had a flat, friends, studies and a goal. I had a life there so it was really hard to leave, even though I came back to my parents’ home. I only came away in the beginning of February and am so tired sometimes it is hard to move and my mind gets tangled all the time. Every time I open FD I wonder how tired you must be. I am afraid I cannot even imagine it.

    Please take days off, too. You have earned them with your hard work.

    Please do not give up. If Fukushima Diary needs to change its form, then be it so. What seems to be the best way to deliver the information to everyone.


  41. Lori Mochisuki, this is a very emotional battle you chose to fight and your burden as a castaway is far greater than other people who have lots of support executing unpleasant tasks.

    Try rest, eat well, do somthing else for a while. I understand that all our world of compliments does not change that empty feeling, by much. If you can, disengage and rest; see a doctor if you have to.

    If you rest, you may have far more energy when reemeging in two or three years.

    Try a small sample and see if it works.

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About this site

This website updates the latest news about the Fukushima nuclear plant and also archives the past news from 2011. Because it's always updated and added live, articles, categories and the tags are not necessarily fitted in the latest format.
I am the writer of this website. About page remains in 2014. This is because my memory about 311 was clearer than now, 2023, and I think it can have a historical value. Now I'm living in Romania with 3 cats as an independent data scientist.
Actually, nothing has progressed in the plant since 2011. We still don't even know what is going on inside. They must keep cooling the crippled reactors by water, but additionally groundwater keeps flowing into the reactor buildings from the broken parts. This is why highly contaminated water is always produced more than it can circulate. Tepco is planning to officially discharge this water to the Pacific but Tritium is still remaining in it. They dilute this with seawater so that it is legally safe, but scientifically the same amount of radioactive tritium is contained. They say it is safe to discharge, but none of them have drunk it.


February 2012