“You can kill yourself anytime”

(To jigai or not to jigai)

Yesterday was a mess. I told to my parents that I’m going to move.

It was a miniature scale of Japanese society.

Dad told me: “Traffic accident is more dangerous than radiation.”

Mom told me: “If I quit, the company goes broke. We better die together. If we have cancer, we can kill ourselves anytime.”

Of course they read only mainstream media and TV (NHK)

I said: “No, just move or kill yourself. You work to live. You don’t live to work.”

I told them even if I become homeless somewhere I don’t know, I’ll still scratch my back to live. Life is still worth living.

They were like, there is no meaning of life if you become homeless.

In short, they want me to die to support their luxury life.

They even told me not to tell that I avoid radiation to my coworker because he may be scared then, he might want to move as well.

The coworker has 1 year old baby. He does need to escape but they want him to stay, to support their luxury life.

This is exactly how Japan is.

“The purpose of my life is to live. Nothing more. so I will try to live whatever happens” I told them, and left the office.

Secondary, “leukemia” is becoming the target of their new witch hunt.

Leukemia will increase.

METI has invested 700 million yen into media control.

Some blogs revised the article about the man who died of acute leukemia but I’m kind of suspicious, so didn’t revise the article.

I think bloggers need to be more confident in your own sense of judgement.

You are most likely to be right.

The first thought that came into your mind is most likely to be correct. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes.

Give it a little time so sometimes it’s proved to be true.

METI leant the impact of leukemia news because of Otsuka Norikazu and they know it will spike up soon.

Their next target will be news related to leukemia. Don’t be deceived by them.

Truth doesn’t belong to any ONE. It’s our mission to spread what we think it’s true to all over the world.

  1. I agree with you ! When I started reading the new version on other sites, it sounded like the rewriting of history in a dictatorship. I was surprised to see them accepting the rewritten version so easily.
    It is obvious that this young man’s infinite passion for fishing was stronger than the rational part of his mind, and he obviously would not stop his passion despite radioactivity spreading in Japan waters.

  2. Thank-you so much for your information. I am reposting this on all the major venues. You are right. We work to live, not live to work.
    Japan must protect itself, and it’s people.
    Please take good care,


    Annette Haven

  3. wow, you are going through high drama! I personally think I owe it to my parents, who gave me life & made so many sacrifices for me, and to God, moreover, and to all my principles and respect for other lives to protect my health from a known and cumulative hazard like this. Not to mention what I owe to my other family members, friends, significant other, co-workers, fellow citizens, teachers, professors, ministers, doctors, landlord, shopkeepers, and everyone else who got me where I am today! 😛

    Maybe once you are safe and established, your family will visit and join you! But, you owe it to them to follow your sensibilities and do the best you can to stay at your best!

  4. I can’t imagine the burden u r having. U sound like a strong surviver type. Keep up ur
    fighting spirit n be extremely careful not only about ur food, air but also the evil empire of the nuclear industry n the corrupted government.

  5. Thank you for this post. My boyfriend is Japanese and his father also told him, “we all die together.” I feel very sad for children with parents who think like this. I know it is difficult, but I hope you maintain your strength and make it out of there. Good luck!

  6. What’s most fascinating is how this incident has caused you, and many, many others, to pierce the veil of what we call culture or civilization, and how life is very different from the two.

  7. Oh dear.

    Mochizuki-san, people from that generation are all very similar. My parents grew up in socialism, my husband’s parents grew up in capitalism — yet they are the same in many ways!!

    They all think that if you work hard, never complain, do everything right, then someone or something (your kind boss, or the government) will fix things for you.

    My parents lived through a war and they had to leave their house and friends forever and go to foreign countries whose languages they didn’t speak. And yet —

    They don’t see the huge economic crisis. They don’t see that things have changed. They don’t see that you can work all your life and still get screwed!

    The most important thing for them is to be normal, to be just like anyone else.

    Many would rather die than NOT be “normal”.

    You can’t change them. It’s sad, but you can’t do or say anything. They have to hear it from many other people and from TV before they believe it. They’ll never believe just you.

    You are fulfilling your sacred duty to the Japanese people and to the world by speaking out and leaving. You are leaving to give them a signal that things are not normal. You are leaving so that you can speak the truth.

    We have duties to our parents, but there are also more important duties in life.

    I don’t believe in the God from the Bible, but something is clear: God is with you — in any shape that you imagine him/her/it.

    I feel terrible for the one year old. I hope the parents decide to move too.

  8. It’s sad that your parents don’t understand, but in a way it’s logical, due to their education and to what they are told by the mainstream media. You made the right choice (not an easy one !). Maybe later they will understand, maybe not. But it’s your life, think of yourself first – and by escaping this way you will also be able to help many people, to lead them into thinking. Hold on !

  9. I am a mother of a child and I always told my husband who is Japanese that no parent wants to keep a son to live in in a dangerous place for health. I thought that his parents do not say him to leave Japan because they do not understand what is happening. but maybe I’m wrong, maybe they think it’s fair to stay and die together. I hope you leave Japan immediately. a big hug for you.

  10. Most people don’t know what they want their life.
    Be prepare, believe yourself and go for it!

    My dad taught me when I was child,
    ” When everybody go to the left you go right. Then you’ll be on right track.”
    I’m glad he told me this way.

    Too many naysayer.
    Just don’t listen whoever let you down.

  11. Be strong.. and thank you for your blog, your strength, your perspective.

    It is always difficult to go against your parents, but perhaps, you know what you know for a reason.. and must save yourself.

    Perhaps as things go on, your parents will see and join you. It must be your mission to find a place for all of you to be safe.

    Oddly, we have a similar, yet entirely different denial here in the USA… the similarity is to support others luxury life.. so many are certain that we would crumble and fall with out nuclear energy.. most have no idea that we waste more energy everyday than produced by nuclear…even without accidents the cost is too high…

    2 billion gallons of water each plant needs everyday.. and not one single nuclear plant on the planet has a record of not emitting/leaking anything.. and we raise the temperature of the water and kill future generations of fish.. and we damage dna of all living things.. so that some big company can grow bigger and gobble up all the other companies.. well, the corporations should remember they need us humans to buy their products…

    Encourage your family to save itself for you…for your heritage. To change this horrible mistake… to be righteous as all Japanese should be. A corporation can not care. Only the people can.

  12. As long as there are Japanese alive even far from the cradle of their civilization something of Japan will remain. I don’t have the right to say anything about this but I hope you manage to survive and get well to point B.
    I know that the pro-nukes are sometimes fools, evil fools, But some of them try to fool us into a sense of security so they remain the only to have access to means necessary and somewhat helpful to stay healthy in a radionuclides contaminated environment. It’s hypocrisy, lies, deceit and silent insidious unhumane survival tactics…coupled with Russian roulette. And may be a desire to inflict upon your innocent fellow human beings your own suffering so it does not remain only your own.
    I think you acted fairly trying to warn some of your loved-ones and close friends.
    May the force be with you.

  13. Mochizuki, stay true to your course. What you are experiencing is the rupture that happens between generations when the younger ones learn and the elders do not. This is akin to any “coming out” story, be it based on gay, dietary changes (Years ago, my family freaked out when I was a vegetarian for Thanksgiving.), choice of lifestyle or occupation — anything that does not reflect back to them their own choices. You are a brave, intelligent, compassionate individual with a clear eye on the problems in Japan. We need you to be well, safe and as happy as possible in doing this work. Those of us outside of family acceptance and understanding have gone through our own versions of this dilemma… only ours/mine was not necessarily life-threatening. Do your best and know that the whole world IS watching. – Namaste, “Auntie Nuke”

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About this site

This website updates the latest news about the Fukushima nuclear plant and also archives the past news from 2011. Because it's always updated and added live, articles, categories and the tags are not necessarily fitted in the latest format.
I am the writer of this website. About page remains in 2014. This is because my memory about 311 was clearer than now, 2023, and I think it can have a historical value. Now I'm living in Romania with 3 cats as an independent data scientist.
Actually, nothing has progressed in the plant since 2011. We still don't even know what is going on inside. They must keep cooling the crippled reactors by water, but additionally groundwater keeps flowing into the reactor buildings from the broken parts. This is why highly contaminated water is always produced more than it can circulate. Tepco is planning to officially discharge this water to the Pacific but Tritium is still remaining in it. They dilute this with seawater so that it is legally safe, but scientifically the same amount of radioactive tritium is contained. They say it is safe to discharge, but none of them have drunk it.


November 2011