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Column of the Day: Sometimes

My blog is made of rage.

I can never forget the desperation when I know gov has been all telling us lie,and they are still telling.

Honestly,since 311,I sometimes think how to end my life when I find myself having cancer.

Especially when it’s leukemia,the pain is more than you can bear.

I sometimes think when I have nosebleed all of a sudden.

Can I fight until the very moment ?

Will anybody take care of me ?

Leukemia is very hard to cure unless you are lucky.

In the mind getting blur day after day,what value can you give to the society ?

Is it worth of putting up with the pain ?

I’m getting to think I must be prepared ,good load may come tomorrow.

So far,I think I don’t want to die in pain.

I would love to smuggle some drug to make myself pass-out even though it cuts off the last short moment of my life.

See also

I don’t think I can put up with the pain.

If possible,I already want to keep some drug beside me,so I can end my life anytime needed.

I don’t want to be killed by cancer. It must be me to rule my life.

Until the very last moment,I want to contribute to the world.

I hope what I write on this blog will help our descendants.

Mochizuki
Mochizuki
The writer of Fukushima Diary.
Related
Previous Breaking News: Two nuc workers poured radioactive water over themselves
Next Column of the Day: Babel

16 Comments

  1. Please take care of yourself.

    It may be selfish to have thoughts of leaving, but perhaps you will have to do it in order to survive.

    Because you get a lot of information from the internet anyway, it may not matter in terms of this blog whether you are in Japan or somewhere else (Canada).

    People need you, inside and outside of Japan. We need your valuable contributions.

    You have to be a kind of a peaceful warrior for the sake of Japanese people and especially the children. Stay strong.

  2. You must be very frustrated, and I think that’s apparent in this article.

    What you and all of Japan are experiencing right now is surreal, and I really hope that the people come together soon and overcome this great despair.

    You and the others reporting about what’s happening in Japan have opened a lot of eyes, and we’re all with you.

    I hope that you do not die prematurely because of what is going on.

    I wish you the best of luck in the future!

  3. Do you have nosebleeds all the time? This is very serious, people all dying all over Japan. Something must be done.

  5. Move to Kyushu (the food is safe, the land is clean and the people are kind), eat zeolite to remove the radiation from your body (you can order from the internet) and stay positive — your work has meaning and is a source of hope and inspiration for many, many people.

    I also feel depressed often since 3/11, but I realize that my duty is to help the young people — they are relying on us for all their support.

    We will all die someday, but it is how we help each other that is most important. Pain is terrible, but there is medicine, doctors and family to help us through that part of our life. Remember that we have already lived longer than many young people who pass away at a young age (tragically).

    Take a break from your blog and do something enjoyable for yourself — don’t read the news for a week — it will refresh you.

    Thank you for your hard work — all important work *is* hard. . .

    (from Osaka)

  7. Your work is very useful and necessary. It is important for Japanese people, to help them protect themselves. It is also important for the rest of the world, to make them realise how dangerous nuclear power is. I live in France and we have many nuclear plants, most older than 30 years and some very close to big cities… and the newspapers carefully avoid to tell us about what’s going on in Fukushima. So we really need your informations. Thank you very much ! Take care of yourself, it’s a good idea, as someone else suggested, to rest for a few days, it will help you stay strong. My thoughts are with you and the people of Japan.

  8. Please keep using your anger for action. Keep looking for and telling the truth. Don’t let the anger and rage eat you up. Stress and rage kill us more surely than low-level radiation will.

    I also worry about contaminated food in Japan. Since it’s a long-term problem, I’m not sure yet how to deal with it, but I believe it’s still possible to grow “clean” food here in West Japan, so we check the origin carefully when we shop. Maybe some of it is mis-labled, but I believe most of it is not. I believe that eating some contaminated food now and then is low risk. Of course, eating it for 15 years is riskier.

    It’s more important now to avoid foods that we know increase cancer risk even when they aren’t contaminated with radiation. Meat, alcohol and high-sodium foods all seem to increase cancer risk. Vegetables decrease cancer risk. A mostly plant-based diet is a good idea.

    Japan does have NGOs and other groups that work against nuclear power. I know from experience that they need help. People like you who are passionate and who know how to use media are valuable. Those of us who believe that Japan needs to change will need to unite and fight to make that happen.

  9. Pingback: VAhanus Blog | It's the end of the world as we know it….

  10. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL, BRAVE, INCREDIBLY SPECIAL HUMAN BEING. You are vitally important!

    Because of your blog, the entire world knows what is happening in Japan. Without you, we would not have this information. You have potentially SAVED thousands of lives and CHANGED NUCLEAR POLICY in uncountable ways… by the simple humble act of blogging. Blogging, and not giving up even when your blogs get taken down. Opening a Facebook page and doing MORE. You are not seeing your own TRUTH!

    You must make your own choices for your own life, of course, that is true for each of us. But please do not give in to depression, despair, fear of sickness! Please understand that not everyone who has been exposed to radiation has to get sick, or suffer, or die, that the human body can fight even an unseen enemy like radiation. Your thoughts are your first line of defense.

    Your life is already proving its unique significance! And it will continue to do so as long as you don’t give up.

    Please do not poison yourself with any life-ending drug, oh please continue your life of Great Honor! Watch your blog stats instead! See how they grow exponentially every week as more of us find you on the internet!

    Give your heart away to the future generations, who need us to change nuclear policies NOW! Who need all the facts you are providing to change things in their own locations.

    Give yourself permission to dissolve your fear inside of the WARM LOVE that is streaming to you from all over the world!

    YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING.

    1. You are making me spread my ego wing. haha jk!
      but I do thank you. and thank you for reading this. You make my life worth of living.

  11. I read your blog every day and want you to know my husband and I prayed for you this moringing, with tears. A time comes to all when we must look past today and make sure our eternity is secure, then we can once again focus on what is at hand. We will continue to pray for you. Jesus healed me of many illnesses, and I am nobody speacial, He will do it for all who believe but many do not believe.

    Thank you for your caring and noble heart.

  12. Dude! What you need is a drink … Or two ! Come on by the restaurant on the 10th at 5pm in Juban. Big meeting with some of the top guys activists on Facebook who are just like you and me fighting both on the net and the real world. We’ll be about 15 people. Come and join us. It ll be instructif, fun and will give us all a chance to exchange and built the next plan of attack. Fight is on! We all need each other … You have gone way above and beyond to help … It is going to be a hell of a ride. You will not have cancer if you smile, remember? Lol

    Nelson.

    Ps. Let’s kick some ass !!

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About this site

This website updates the latest news about the Fukushima nuclear plant and also archives the past news from 2011. Because it's always updated and added live, articles, categories and the tags are not necessarily fitted in the latest format.
I am the writer of this website. About page remains in 2014. This is because my memory about 311 was clearer than now, 2023, and I think it can have a historical value. Now I'm living in Romania with 3 cats as an independent data scientist.
Actually, nothing has progressed in the plant since 2011. We still don't even know what is going on inside. They must keep cooling the crippled reactors by water, but additionally groundwater keeps flowing into the reactor buildings from the broken parts. This is why highly contaminated water is always produced more than it can circulate. Tepco is planning to officially discharge this water to the Pacific but Tritium is still remaining in it. They dilute this with seawater so that it is legally safe, but scientifically the same amount of radioactive tritium is contained. They say it is safe to discharge, but none of them have drunk it.

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