[Column] Church, Chanel, and an old woman

An old woman called me from the other side of the narrow street.
In the Spring weather, I was walking on the winding street surrounded by old European style of buildings.

She stopped me and tried to come near me. She hold the basket full of the snacks and cakes that I have never seen.
There were a lot of cars parked between me and her and the body was messed with bird’s dropping and dust but she didn’t care, which made me think she’s been living here for long.
She was bent with age, and didn’t look so rich.

In this society, women are not always economically advantaged, old women are pushed to the severer situation.
An old mother of my friend is living on her pension and it’s 180 € per month.

She looked at me with her pale blue eyes and tried to say something.
She was offering the snack.

I took a cup of it and showed my appreciation.

I got to know it was a local traditional custom to give the snack to people, especially someone who lost his / her friends last year.
It was 2 days before this 311.

I have a “shower outlet-phobia”. When I have to see it in the shower, I shiver.
Psychologically speaking, I might be “clean-freak”. (though I sometimes forget to wash my hands after toilet.) From my self-psychoanalysis, I think it’s because I feel like something looks into me that I have been oppressing and tried to push aside.
It’s pushed in the dark and small pit with hairs and dirts.

In one of the richest countries, I’ve been competing with everyone, chasing the new toys, and full of vanity. I was throwing away everything old, different, and the uncools until I realized I was all deceived.

In NYC, what I saw was a girl, who was probably same age as me and sitting on the floor of Union. Sq station with the card written “I need a miracle”.
When they come to Manhattan, everyone gets on the top of the world. They say, Never mind, it’s a typical fraud. Homeless is everywhere.
I wish so. I wish she was a fraud.
I looked underneath the bench at the platform of NYC metro and always thought if it’s safe to sleep there or not.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t give her a miracle.

Some people say they are homeless because they don’t try hard. Embarrassingly, I used to think so too.
However, the mathematical and the statistical simulation let me know I was wrong. If a butterfly flapped in Shanghai at the right moment, it would have been Bill Gates to sit in Union Sq station to say “I need a miracle” and your PC would work better.

About 10 mins walk from my apartment, there is a church. I sometimes see an old woman sitting beside the building of church. She doesn’t beg. She’s just there. but I have seen her crying.
There’s a Chanel shop a block away. I wonder what’s the fashion to ignore her.

In Vienna, the situation was a little bit different. “Homeless” people were given the work to sell magazines like “big issue”, and I saw people often give them some coins on the street. I remember one of the magazine sellers was pregnant.

In the bottle of pickles, I save coins. I’m planning to give it to someone needing a miracle.
I don’t want to resent myself anymore.


[Column] Church, Chanel, and an old woman




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Français :

[Édito] Église, Chanel, et une vieille femme


Une vieille femme m’a appelé depuis l’autre côté de la rue étroite.
Je marchais dans cette rue sinueuse encadrée de bâtiments de style européen, dans un climat printanier.

Elle m’a arrêté et a essayé de venir près de moi. Elle portait un panier plein de gâteaux et d’amuse-gueules comme je n’en avais jamais vu.
Il y avait beaucoup de voitures stationnées entre elle et moi et elle était tâchée de fientes d’oiseaux et de poussière mais elle n’y prêtait pas attention, ce qui m’a fait penser qu’elle devait vivre là depuis longtemps.
Elle était courbée par le poids des ans et n’avait pas l’air très riche.

Dans cette société, les femmes ne sont pas toujours économiquement protégées, les vieilles femmes sont poussées dans des situations graves.
La vieille mère de mon amie vit avec une pension de 180 € par mois.

Elle m’a regardée avec ses yeux bleu-clairs et a essayé de me dire quelque chose.
Elle m’offrait un amuse-gueule.

J’en ai pris une tasse et je lui ai montré que j’aimais ça.

J’ai appris que c’est une habitude traditionnelle locale que de donner des amuse-gueules aux gens, en particulier à ceux qui ont perdu leur amie/ami l’an dernier.
C’était deux jours avant ce 11-3.

J’ai une phobie des “trous d’évacuation des douches”. Quand je dois le regarder dans la douche, je tremble.
D’un point de vue psychologique, il se pourrait que je sois un maniaque de la propreté. bien que j’oublie parfois de me laver les mains après être allé aux toilettes.) De mon auto-psychanalyse, je pense que c’est parce que je sens comme si quelque chose me regardait, quelque chose que j’ai brimé et tenté de mettre de côté.
C’est poussé dans le petit trou noir et plein de cheveux et de salissures.

Dans l’un des pays les plus riche, j’ai eu à m’affronter avec tout le monde, recherchant les nouveaux jouets et plein de vanité. Je jetais tout ce qui était vieux, différent et pas cool jusqu’à ce que je réalise que je me fourvoyais totalement.

A New-York City, ce que j’ai vu, c’était une fille qui devait sans doute être aussi âgée que moi et qui était assise sur le sol de la gare de Union. Square avec une pancarte disant “j’ai besoin d’un miracle”.
Quand on va à Manhattan, chacun monte sur le toit du monde. Ils disent que c’est sans importance, c’est une arnaque typique. Les sans-abris sont partout.
Je le souhaite, je souhaite que c’ait été une arnaque.
Je regardais sous les banquettes de la plate-forme du métro de NYC et je me suis toujours demandé si c’était sûr d’y dormir ou pas.

Je n’ai malheureusement pas pu lui offrir de miracle.

Certains disent qu’ils sont sans abri parce qu’ils n’essayent pas vraiment d’en avoir. De façon embarrassante, je l’ai pensé aussi.
Cependant, les simulations mathématiques et statistiques me permettent de savoir que j’étais dans l’erreur. Si un papillon bat des ailes à Shanghai au bon moment, on pourrait voir Bill Gates s’asseoir à la gare d’Union Square et dire “J’ai besoin d’un miracle” et votre PC e=n fonctionnerait mieux.

A environ 10 minutes à pied de mon appartement, il y a une église. J’y vois parfois une vieille femme assise à côté de l’église. Elle ne mendie pas. Elle est seulement là mais je l’ai vue pleurer.
Il y a un magasin Chanel à un bloc de là. Je me demande quelle est la mode de l’ignorer.

A Vienne, la situation était un peu différente. Les “sans-abri” trouvaient du travail comme de vendre des magazines tes que “big issue” et j’ai souvent vu des gens leur donner quelques pièces dans la rue. Je me souviens qu’une de ses vendeuses à la sauvette était enceinte.

Je mets des pièces dans un bocal à cornichons. J’ai l’intention de le les donner à quelqu’un qui attend un miracle.
Je ne veux plus jamais m’en vouloir.

[Édito] Église, Chanel, et une vieille femme



Note : J’aime bien écrire des éditos. Si vous voulez que je vous en écrive pour votre site, laissez-moi un commentaire ou autre chose.
  1. There is so much money in politics that there is a payback for being “elected”; these are the leaders who are mainly men who have never had to sacrifice their comfort, never been hungry, have the best medical insurance available, and probably have never lost their possessions and hope. They may come into contact with the homeless but they do not see the daily struggle. They enact damaging policies and then blame the poor, disabled, pensioners, homeless for making wrong decisions without the realization that for most of us, the wolf is at the door and we are using every means to keep him on the other side.

    You are a worthy person to those of us who follow your diary because you share real human experiences and are a blessing to those of us who have not traveled extensively out of our own country. It helps me to know that in a world that is growing cold and lost morality, that there are still kind and good people.

  2. “If a butterfly flapped in Shanghai at the right moment, it would have been Bill Gates to sit in Union Sq station to say “I need a miracle” and your PC would work better.”

    LOL! I hear that!! 😉

  3. Lori-san, don’t you realize that YOU are the miracle. You give of yourself to the whole world. Giving of your time, your knowledge,and your kindness is priceless. These are things money can not buy. I work with the homeless everyday as a nurse and I am humbled every day. It also reminds me of how grateful I am for what I do have. If I could clone people I would use you and fill the world with loving caring souls. I’ll let you know when I learn this so you can be available.

  4. This is Poetry with a capital P, sir.
    Wonderful stuff.
    Your pickle bottle of coins is a great idea, I’ll also do it.
    Thank you for your wonderful blog. It’s inspired a hell of a lot
    of us out here.
    Keep writing like this, you’re better than a lot of the beats,
    I mean that.

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About this site

This website updates the latest news about the Fukushima nuclear plant and also archives the past news from 2011. Because it's always updated and added live, articles, categories and the tags are not necessarily fitted in the latest format.
I am the writer of this website. About page remains in 2014. This is because my memory about 311 was clearer than now, 2023, and I think it can have a historical value. Now I'm living in Romania with 3 cats as an independent data scientist.
Actually, nothing has progressed in the plant since 2011. We still don't even know what is going on inside. They must keep cooling the crippled reactors by water, but additionally groundwater keeps flowing into the reactor buildings from the broken parts. This is why highly contaminated water is always produced more than it can circulate. Tepco is planning to officially discharge this water to the Pacific but Tritium is still remaining in it. They dilute this with seawater so that it is legally safe, but scientifically the same amount of radioactive tritium is contained. They say it is safe to discharge, but none of them have drunk it.